Here’s another complaining blog. I do what I do.
I worked at my last job for over 2 years which was 2011 to 2013. I had despised it for a good year at least. The first year was perfectly fine, I found the people genuinely nice and flexible. When I was struggling with paying the bus fare they even got me a second hand bike which I used for a few months until the pedals and chain kept sticking making it impossible to get anywhere. They always looked out for me and let me take days off when I really needed to be in college to get extra work finished. So by the end of my college year in 2012 I was hardly in work except weekends and didn’t notice how much I had outgrown my job. I also didn’t see how repetitive and tedious it all was or how my bosses were quite fickle (and when I say fickle I mean all of the synonyms of that word) and didn’t care about anyone except themselves. All they seemed to care about is money. To me they didn’t seem to be grateful for what they had in life and had no idea what it was like to go without. Even I don’t know what it’s like to go without even though when I was working there in the winter I could scarcely afford to put the heating on and could barely afford food. Going on nights out was pretty much out of the question, especially in winter in 2012 as the hotel had a lack of customers which meant I had a lack of income.
I had asked to be put in the books in 2011 when I was still in college and their reply was ’no I’m not paying £100 on you when you‘re hardly here.’ I didn’t work enough hours to pay tax anyway but it made me uncomfortable to be not put in the books and it also meant that I had no contract to back me up or give proof of anything.
Since leaving college and having nothing but work to go to I had begun to feel so low and hated being anywhere near that hotel, it just made me feel depressed, incredibly negative and angry. Of course they have no souls so they would just think I was “over exaggerating” and being a “typical women”.
Bloody backwards people.
In april 2013 I had decided I needed to get out of that job so I started looking in Glasgow for something. I made the mistake of saying to my bosses that I wanted to move off the island so I could get back into making jewellery and I was looking for a new job. They had said ‘oh that’s fine, I understand you need to get out there and get out of Rothesay.’ Later they told me they were annoyed because I was leaving just before summer hit. So they started hiring people to replace me when I was still working there and it had been one day since I’d started looking. Oh sure, I’m going to get something in a day. I had got an interview that week but of course I didn’t get the job. I had a couple more interviews over in crazy parts of Glasgow which cost a fortune to get to so after that I decided I could no longer afford to apply to places over there.
They hired one of my friends which turned out to be quite good cause I had someone to talk to. Then she started getting an understanding of what it was really like to work there. She didn’t do the same shifts as me and was always just leaving as I got there. She ended up leaving in the end as they had treated her unfairly. I had no choice but to keep working there until something else came up as I had bills to pay and the system meant I couldn’t quit or be fired because I wouldn’t get JSA unless I had been made redundant.
One day I was really happy because I had got an interview with the dentist in Rothesay and was really close to getting the job but unluckily someone was a better candidate. I guess that’s life, though at the time I was a bit down because I was so excited that I might be getting a new job. Most of the time I would work pretty hard and make sure to do everything well and quickly but even when I had done my best sometimes it wasn’t good enough to them they always expected more and for me to be even more efficient. Their demanding attitude and ungratefulness towards me just made me work less hard to be honest. I stopped caring about how well I did my work. Although I still did it well enough to avoid being yelled at. Twice I had been called stupid in that hell hole. That was the lowest of the lows. I will not stand for anybody no matter how much power they think they have over me. Nobody calls me stupid. It’s unprofessional and certainly is a good way to lose my respect.
Anyway to the main point, that whole rant isn’t really relevant to my life now. They finally made me redundant 3 weeks ago so now I’m unemployed, a little more calm and happier to be away from there, on JSA and seriously need to find a good job that I can be happy in. I look and apply to jobs everyday on jobsites and I still haven’t been able to get an interview. The problem with finding a job is they always want you to have the experience (or a driving license) but you need the job or somewhere to volunteer first to gain the experience. I also found out if you have a degree you can’t get ILA so getting a bar license and food and hygiene certificate will be too expensive. I don’t want to feel like I’m going to be stuck in the same place forever so I need to make lots of changes to make life better. The only thing I can think of is to continue applying, find somewhere to volunteer and to quote Ben Howard ‘Keep your head up’. Hold on I’ll find a better quote. Ok *Google’s ‘cheer up’ quotes*
“Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.”
– Audrey Hepburn
I may sound like a moody cow within all these words but I’m fairly happy now. Obviously I’m still working towards getting a new job and moving away to work on my jewellery but at least I’m looking at life more positively.
Ok well, mew.